The 20 Most Hilarious Donkey Quotes

The Best Donkey Quotes Shrek The franchise shows why the noble steed of the great green ogre is one of the funniest characters in the franchise. The film franchise – which includes six films, a television series and a musical – follows Mike Myers’ Shrek, a misanthropic ogre who takes on the role of hero. Shrek features a star-studded cast led by Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and as Donkey, legendary comedian Eddie Murphy. The franchise takes familiar fairy tales and turns them upside down, adding slapstick humor and larger-than-life characters not found in any other story – fairy tale or otherwise.

This includes Eddie Murphy’s impressive performance as the annoying, gullible, loving donkey. Although Shrek is the main character in the franchise, there is no denying it Eddie Murphy’s Donkey, Shrek’s devoted and hilarious companion, is also a star of the films. With sharp humor, pop culture commentary, and endless enthusiasm, Donkey remains Shrekthe secret weapon. Donkey’s quotes from the Shrek films show him as just as funny and quick-witted as anyone in the franchise.

25

“Okay, let me get this straight…”

Shrek (2001)

Although they are rare, there are times when Eddie Murphy Shrek character makes something resembling sense, like when Shrek is ready to roar into battle and Donkey tries to understand Shrek’s reasoning and change Shrek’s mind by explaining things as he sees them.. Not a bad argument, all things considered.

“You’ll fight a dragon and rescue a princess only to have Farquaad give you back your swamp, which you only don’t have because he filled it with crazy people. Is this right?“

The irony also doesn’t go unnoticed by Shrek, who is a little irritated by his companion’s opinion on the situation and responds: “You know what? Maybe there’s a good reason why donkeys don’t talk.” What makes these Donkey quotes funny is Shrek’s reaction to them and Donkey’s deadpan delivery, which shows why their relationship has lasted four films and counting.

24

“Me! Me! Oh, oh, choose me! Oh, I know! I know! Me!”

Shrek (2001)

Shrek found Donkey so annoying that he did his best to ignore him in a meeting to find out where Lord Farquaad was. After asking the crowd where he could find Farquaad, Donkey released a “choose me“speech, only to be ignored by the ogre for as long as possible. None to be deleted, Donkey kept beggingleaping into the air while shouting this quote while Shrek did everything he could to pretend he was never there.

These were perfect donkey quotes on Shrek this showed how much Donkey wanted to be a part of something, and even though Shrek wasn’t interested, Donkey never took no for an answer. Shockingly for both characters, this sequence would mark the beginning of a lasting friendship.

23

“If we ever need an expert at licking ourselves, we’ll call you.”

Shrek 2 (2004)

One of the funniest parts of the Shrek franchise is the rivalry between Donkey and Puss in Boots. As they try to win the title of best talking animal friend, they insult each other with hilarious burns. In Shrek 2, Donkey tells Puss in Boots that they will call him if they need a self-licking expert. This is funny mainly because Donkey is essentially downplaying the role of the sword-fighting, sly-talking cat to that of a house cat.

Plus, it’s funny because it looks like the pot is calling the kettle black. In this simple act of rejecting Puss in Boots, he is displaying the common behavioral traits of donkeys, such as being territorial and stubborn. This adds a second layer of hilarity to the quote. Ultimately, the characters are products of their species and much more than that. Despite their great banter, the two work best when they see each other as equals, with their respective strengths and weaknesses.

22

“In the morning, I’m making waffles!”

Shrek (2001)

Once Donkey unexpectedly appears in Shrek’s life, he proves to be a bouncy, never-ending ball of positivity and enthusiasm, which directly conflicts with Shrek’s general air of bad temper. This, of course, is what makes the two a perfect comedic duo. After Donkey makes it clear that he intends to live in Shrek’s swamp, he details his big plans for the future.

Although Shrek isn’t interested in being friends with the talking donkey from the beginning, Donkey confirms that the two will be best friends forever from that moment on. Their first night together, according to Donkey, will consist of “to stay[ing] I stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning I’m making waffles!” This particular line, in part because of Eddie Murphy’s tone when saying it, has become one of the franchise’s most famous.

21

“We wear our fear right there on our sleeves.”

Shrek (2001)

Right from the first Shrek film, Donkey fixates on the notion of ogres with layers, like onions and parfaits, as well as countless other things. It’s a metaphor that Shrek and Donkey refer to throughout the film after their first argument, but Donkey’s cheekiest reference to it comes at the most unexpected moment.

Donkey and Shrek will experience many dangerous and heroic adventures throughout the franchise, but Shrek finds the two facing one of the most unenviable threats of all. In their attempts to rescue Princess Fiona from the tower, they are forced to cross a dangerous bridge surrounded by a dragon and brimstone lair. And that’s when Donkey makes the revelation that “Dumbs don’t have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves” – since, it seems, he is afraid of heights.

20

“I go down gently, but I come out fighting!”

Shrek: Ever After (2010)

When the Donkey is almost cooked and eaten by the ogre’s resistance in Shrek: Forever AfterHe chooses some words for the cook, revealing that he can go down without any problems, but he will come out fighting. These donkey quotes on Shrek they’re an insight into his resilience in battle and a funny joke about what might happen if someone ate him – wouldn’t it be a pleasant experience after the fact.

This quote is quite indicative of Donkey’s character, who was more concerned about how it would be digested than to be eaten. Donkey also proved to be much harder for any enemy to eliminate than they could have imagined. Murphy’s hilarious delivery also shows how perfect his casting was as this lovable cartoon donkey.

19

“I just know that before this is over, I’m going to need a lot of serious therapy.”

Shrek (2001)

One of the best and most underrated lines from the first Shrek film is when Donkey says he’s going to need some serious therapy after keeping Fiona’s secret. This quote is one of the funniest because it defies all logic that therapy would exist in a fairytale land full of characters like Gingy and Pinnochio. At the same time, it’s easy to remember childhood stories like Cinderella and see traumas and darkness that could be worked on in therapy.

Plus, the quote is funny because it’s extremely relatable. While a child might not look at a situation and think they need therapy, the day-to-day stressors of adulthood can easily drive anyone, even Donkey, to seek therapy. This is a great example of a joke written for parents watching in the audience with their children.

18

“I like that rock. It’s a beautiful rock.”

Shrek (2001)

Donkey is a Shrek character with very simple tastes and very easy to please. He can find the good in almost everything around him. When he finds himself in Shrek’s swamp, he is the most positive individual Shrek has ever met, including some amazing colorful comments from Donkey, who leads to flattering the ogre in almost every way he can.

While wandering the swamp grounds, Donkey begins making hilarious observations about the decor elements in Shrek’s house: “It’s beautiful! Just beautiful. You know, you’re a great decorator. It’s amazing what you did with such a modest budget. I like that stone. It’s a beautiful stone.” But it’s the stony comment that seals the deal, elevating his little monologue to a whole new level of hilarity.

17

“And I thought the Waffle Fairy was just a bedtime story!”

Shrek: Ever After (2010)

There’s a reason why Donkey’s association with waffles is the most remembered aspect of his character. Donkey is known for his fascination with waffleswhich is a continuous part that stretches from the first film to Shrek: Forever After. During the last film, Donkey is surprised to find a pile of waffles in a forest clearing, commenting that the Waffle Fairy is real after all. Those Shrek Donkey quotes show how naive the character is while also emphasizing his love for breakfast food.

As adorable and dense as Donkey is, it’s hard for fans not to find the notion of a Waffle Fairy utterly hilarious. Of course, given the franchise’s fairytale setting, it’s not impossible to rule out the existence of such a creature, making Donkey’s fondest wishes come true.

16

“[I’m] A second-rate companion for a sophisticated feast!”

Shrek the Third (2007)

Donkey and the fairy tale character Puss in Boots have one of the best friendly rivalries in history. Shrek franchise, which continues in Shrek the Third. In the film, the two accidentally switch bodies after Merlin casts a spell to teleport them back to Far, Far Away. Upon noticing his new physical state, Donkey takes the opportunity to punch his friend.

Donkey’s disgust and horror at being turned into a cat are just elevated by his sheer distaste for the Cat in general. “I was transformed into a second-rate Fancy Feasting companion!“It would also mark the beginning of a fantastic run between the two characters, as they continue to express their hatred for each other while inhabiting opposite bodies throughout the film. However, it was these Donkey quotes in Shrek That got the ball rolling.

15

“Oh, I’ll find those stairs. I’ll whip their asses too!”

Shrek (2001)

When Shrek and Donkey go to the castle to find Fiona, Shrek mentions that they are looking for the stairs, and Donkey decides that he will take care of the stairs while Shrek takes care of the dragon. This spurs an entire monologue of Donkey rambling about conquering the stairs as if he were talking about fighting a person. This monologue, and specifically the quote about whipping ass down the stairs, is hilarious because of the tone in which he says the words.

Donkey talks about fighting the stairs in a nervous, fast-paced tone that shows how scared he is. This creates a dichotomy between the actual words and how they are expressed. Also, the fact that he tries to act all tough and strong is ridiculous when he clearly wants to get out of there as quickly as possible.

14

“Are my kids cute or do they make people uncomfortable?”

Shrek: Ever After (2010)

One of the things that didn’t make sense Shrek The franchise is the romance between Donkey and Dragon, who met in the first film. They have a litter of half-donkey, half-dragon hybrids, called “Dronkeys”, at the end of the second film. However, when Shrek tells an alternate reality Donkey about his children, the character responds with an appropriate question about their appearance. “Are my kids cute or do they make people uncomfortable?“he asks, what does it look like too self-aware for the alternate version of the character.

In fact, Donkey and Dragon’s children are horrible creatures that have haunted the world. Shrek fan base for decades. Donkey was right to question the merit of these creatures, whose exploits really should take center stage if a fifth Shrek film hits theaters.

13

“…I bet you’ve never seen a donkey fly!”

Shrek (2001)

Although Donkey may reveal his fear of heights later in the film when he is first introduced in ShrekDonkey is shown flying through the air. When fairytale creatures are up for auction, Donkey’s previous owner tries to sell him as a talking donkey, but a sudden outburst of Magic dust makes donkey flyalso. “Now I’m a flying, talking donkey! You may have seen a house fly. Maybe even a super fly. But I bet you’ve never seen a donkey fly!“

Everyone attending the auction was stunned, including the guards and knights involved in the royal auction. But Donkey has never been happier, laughing hysterically as he floats through the air and rejoices at being the first donkey to fly. Unfortunately, the joy is short-lived, as the magic dust disappears within a few seconds. But it’s a truly hilarious moment, with some great lines too.

12

“Careful! They have a piano!”

Shrek the Third (2007)

The character of Donkey is without a doubt one of Eddie Murphy’s most iconic performances, in part because it allows him to deliver lines that would make sense in few other films. One of these lines comes during a fight sequence in Shrek the Thirdas the villains reveal that they brought a piano to battle. As Donkey warned everyone that the villain had a pianoit almost didn’t make sense to make these Donkey quotes in Shrek even funnier.

Donkey’s absolute fear at the arrival of a piano is bizarre and incredibly random, but it works perfectly in the context of the story. Shrek franchise. However, he ends up getting his prioritization of the piano right, as all the villains retreat when the instrument is destroyed. Sometimes Donkey quotes in Shrek they make sense, even when they had nothing to do with it.

11

“[W]We will all be known as Team Alpha Super Awesome Cool Dynamite Wolf Squadron.

Shrek the Third (2007)

One of the funniest lines in the movie Shrek the Third occurs when Puss in Boots, Donkey, the Pigs, Pinocchio, the Gingerbread Man and the Wolf come together. Everyone disagrees about the team name, so Donkey resolves the disagreement by mixing all the names into one. The name Team Alpha Super Awesome Cool Dynamite Wolf Squadron is hilarious for a few reasons.

Firstly, the name is too long for its purpose. They could easily list all the individual team members in the time it takes to say the team name. Furthermore, half the words in the name mean the same thing. It’s hilarious redundant to use the words super awesome, cool and dynamite all within the same name. However, without all of these descriptors, the combined name wouldn’t be so silly.

10

“I have a dragon here and I’m not afraid to use it!”

Shrek (2001)

After Donkey successfully wooed the fearsome dragon who previously acted as Princess Fiona’s prison guard, he used him to crash her wedding with Lord Farquaad and end it by swallowing the villain whole. An astonished crowd watched as Burro uttered this quote, proving that he had the means to back up his threat. It was also very funny because Donkey was using his new loved one as the most dangerous weapon in the fight, and he knew it.

This moment would also set up a darkly comic plot involving Farquaad’s slow death in the dragon’s digestive tract, which ended up taking a few films to accomplish, as revealed in the television special Shrek 4-D. In fact, it added a level of humor that no one expected to these fearsome Donkey quotes in Shrek.

9

“If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!”

Shrek (2001)

Donkey can be a real worrywart, and for good reason, given the sheer amount of insane obstacles and violence he and his friends come into contact with throughout the game. Shrek franchise. But one of the first times he has a real reason to worry is when his new best friend, Shrek, is pierced by an arrow, and Donkey thinks the wound could be something serious.

As he begins to frantically run away to seek help elsewhere, an incredibly panicked Donkey exclaims: “Don’t die, Shrek! And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!“Your comment only provokes even more irritation in Shrek and Fiona, but it leads to a real moment of dark and sarcastic humor for the film who is never afraid to embrace sarcastic humor in all forms.

8

“As in the name of Hans Christian Andersen…”

Shrek the Third (2007)

Body swapping and unexpected transformations are the bread and butter of fairy tales, and the Shrek Franchising is certainly no different. But by far the most unexpected and hilarious example of this familiar trope occurs in Shrek the Third when Donkey and Puss in Boots suddenly switch bodies as a result of Artie and Merlin’s magic.

Since Donkey and Puss in Boots are still the series’ resident love-hate friendship at this point, the realization that they’re now inhabiting each other’s bodies leads to some wonderfully sarcastic barbs. But none of them are more wonderfully Meta and hilarious than Donkey’s joke that he could never walk in the Puss’s ridiculous boots – a remark he makes “in the name of Hans Christian Andersen,” the master of fairy tales himself. Donkey himself comes from Pinocchio and his knowledge of fairy tales is always entertaining.

7

“I can’t feel my toes. I have no toes!”

Shrek (2001)

Donkey can be an exaggerated character when he wants to be, and for that reason, a little bit of him can go a long, long way. far away path. Shrek and Fiona often get tired of him, and as a result, they have a little more naughty fun with him than they should. In an attempt to get Donkey to leave them alone so they can go in search of firewood and food for dinner, Fiona and Shrek begin to make Donkey think something is wrong with him.

Of course, at the slightest hint of this fact, Donkey begins to spiral. After Shrek and Fiona abandon him mid-spiral, Donkey becomes utterly dejected, culminating in his realization that in addition to not feeling his toes, he never had any fingers at all. You sad little “I think I need a hug“It’s one of the funniest and most surprising moments in the film of them all.

6

“…Fiona’s father hired a despicable killer to beat you up…”

Shrek 2 (2004)

Donkey really has a unique way of putting a positive spin on things, even in the most uncomfortably depressing situations. Of course, your innate positivity often doesn’t help at allconsidering the dry way in which he conveys and recaps the news. But effort counts, just as it does in Shrek 2 when he and Shrek are on the run.

After meeting Fiona’s real parents, it becomes evident that Shrek is now a wanted man as he will never gain their approval. Things get so dire that Fiona’s father recruits a killer to completely end Shrek’s life. As always, though, Donkey has some hilarious words to comfort his companion: “Don’t worry. Things look bad because it’s dark and rainy and Fiona’s father hired a sleazy killer to beat you up. Tomorrow will be better.”