The 10 stupidest stories in the Godzilla franchise

Although more recent Godzilla films have revisited the terrifying power, threat, and majesty of the radioactive lizard, its story is still filled with silly plots and intriguing plot choices. Toho, in particular, returned Godzilla to his mortal, metaphorical roots with two of the most acclaimed films of his 70-year big screen career: Shin Godzilla and Godzilla minus one. Legendary's Monsterverse, on the other hand, has progressed since Big G's bold reintroduction in Godzilla (2014) to the comic book-level insanity of Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire.

To be clear, one of Godzilla's most important characteristics, and a big reason why he has remained popular for so long, is his adaptability. It can serve as a powerful symbol of the horrors of nuclear war just as easily as it can serve as inspiration for family-friendly merchandise. In fact, some of Godzilla's most memorable moments and most popular movies on the big screen have been objectively silly. When looking back over 70 years of films, ten plots in particular stand out from the rest when it comes to sheer absurdity.

10

The Hollow Earth of the Monsterverse

Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

To be perfectly clear, there's nothing wrong with the direction Legendary is moving in the Monsterverse. Lacks Toho's seriousness Godzilla minus one to say the least, but is a fun film series that understands the entertainment value of giant monsters beating each other up and explosive lightning across cities. There's nothing wrong with the altered history of Godzilla and the other monsters, as they are Earth's ancient guardians and enemies, as opposed to byproducts of nuclear fallout.

With that said, the whole concept of a totally different ecosystem that exists at the center of the planet and it's only accessible through open portals to Titans is objectively ridiculous. It's a tremendous narrative solution to “where all these monsters are hiding”, but from a scientific point of view, it's utter nonsense. To Legendary's credit, they fully leaned into the Hollow Earth absurdity, which is why they continued to work on each additional entry in the series.

9

Space radiation from a black hole creates a doppelgänger

Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla (1994)

Godzilla x SpaceGodzilla is one of the more skippable Godzilla films from a pure necessity standpoint, as it largely functions as a rest stop on the way to the remarkable conclusion of the Heisei Era in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah. However, many Godzilla fans consider SpaceGodzilla to be one of Godzilla's greatest enemieseven if he's just another version of Godzilla with a nebulous list of powers. It's SpaceGodzilla's origin that starts the film on a decidedly silly note.

It is theorized that the Godzilla cells released into the sky by Biollante at the conclusion of Godzilla vs. Biollante and/or Godzilla cells clinging to Mothra at the end of Godzilla vs. Mothra made their way deep into space. There they were exposed to intense radiation coming from a black hole that somehow gave rise to the creature SpaceGodzilla. a Godzilla clone with crystals coming out of his shoulders and a confusing array of beam powers. Although SpaceGodzilla proves to be a very real and deadly threat, he has one of the most unbelievable origin stories for a Godzilla villain.

8

Mind-melting time travel mechanics

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (1991)

Godzilla vs King Ghidorah is still a very enjoyable Heisei Era entry, as long as you don't really try to understand the time travel dynamics at play. Time travelers from the year 2204, known as Futurians (no one flexed any muscle creatively), travel back to the present day claiming that in the future, Godzilla will completely destroy Japan, and so they intend to return to 1944 to remove the dinosaur Godzillasaurus who will eventually become Godzilla after the hydrogen bomb test.

In reality, the Futurians intend to leave three small creatures called Dorats in the past so that they merge thanks to nuclear fallout and become King Ghidorah. The Futurists want to use King Ghidorah to destroy Japan and alter the future, in which Japan has become a dominant and oppressive global superpower. The mechanics of their plan are pure nonsensebut in the end they bring a dying King Ghidorah to the future and send back the incredible Mecha King Ghidorah to face Godzilla; the time travel nonsense can be forgiven in exchange for the introduction of MKG.

7

Jet Jaguar's absurd special ability

Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)

Godzilla vs. Megalon It's the Showa Era at its silliest and features Godzilla at his most anthropomorphic. Megalon and Gigan are fun and intimidating villains, and the Godzilla facing them needs help. The previously human-sized Jet Jaguar robot, which was being used as little more than a guide to point Megalon and Godzilla in the right direction, disconcertingly becomes Godzilla's backup in the fight.

The benevolent robot grows from about 6 feet tall to a full 164 feetand the only explanation given is that he “reprogrammed” himself to allow this important change. It's an extremely silly explanation that is purely used to set up the two-on-two battle royale that makes up the conclusion of Godzilla vs. Megalon. Extra silliness points go to this one for featuring Godzilla's gravity-defying flying dropkick and Godzilla's handshake with Jet Jaguar.

6

Weaponized black holes and huge prehistoric insects

Godzilla vs. Megaguirus (2000)

Godzilla x Megaguirus is an underrated Godzilla film as it features excellent monster battles along with a streamlined story that is a welcome change of pace after the complexity of the Heisei Era plot. However, Megaguirus' origin story is as ridiculous as ever. An experimental weapon known as Dimension Tide fires miniature black holeswith the ultimate intention of eliminating destructive monsters like Godzilla. Predictably, things go wrong and it opens a wormhole to the prehistoric past, allowing a huge dragonfly to enter the present and lay an egg.

The hatching eggs and hundreds of larvae of prehistoric dragonflies known as Meganulon are released to cause chaos. They evolve into large dragonfly-like creatures called Meganula, who eventually become involved with Godzilla. The Meganula are able to extract energy directly from Godzilla and inject that energy into a large cocoon; Megaguirus, the queen of Meganula, emerges from this cocoon. It's even more scientifically absurd than SpaceGodzilla's origin storybut that's part of the charm of most Toho Godzilla films, to be fair.

5

Gene transforming a spirit into a pink monster

Godzilla vs. Biollante (1989)

Biollante's origin is quite simple compared to some of the other monsters on this list. As is the case with many of the monsters Godzilla creates, Biollante was born from Godzilla's cells, which a scientist turned into a rose. He had already spliced ​​some of his dead daughter Erika's cells into the same roses in an attempt to preserve her souland ultimately, Biollante is an amalgamation of three different cell types. Biollante's Plant Beast form is among the coolest monster designs in the Godzilla universe, but his origin is really silly.

4

Lending monsters in exchange for a cancer cure

Invasion of the Astro-Monster (1965)

Astro-Monster Invasion is typically revered as one of the best films of the Showa Era, but that doesn't make its plot any less ridiculous. The film begins with astronauts visiting the mysterious Planet X, which is on the other side of Jupiter, and encountering the alien race Xilien. The Xiliens are being tormented by King Ghidorah on Planet X, and asked to lend Godzilla and Rodan to defend them from the three-headed monster in exchange for a cure for cancer. The astronauts agree and Godzilla and Rodan are transported to Planet X.

However, the Xiliens' true intentions are soon revealed: they demand that the Earth be handed over to them, or else it will be destroyed by Godzilla, Rodan, and King Ghidorah, all of whom are being mind-controlled by the Xiliens. His control is eventually broken, and Godzilla and Rodan fend off King Ghidorah once again, who flees into space. Silliness bonus points go to Astro-Monster Invasion for including Godzilla's infamous victory dance, but the entire plot deserves credit for being absurd as hell.

3

Godzilla somehow reproduces asexually

Godzilla (1998)

The 1998 American adaptation of Tristar Godzilla is almost universally detested, as it was criticized for horrible acting, shoddy writing, and getting Godzilla himself completely wrong. The most absurd plot point in this whole mess is the introduction of Godzilla's offspring, who fill Madison Square Garden after Godzilla inexplicably manages to reproduce without a partner. It's a ridiculous pivot from the central concept, which was sold as an exploration of the consequences of a modern-day Godzilla terrorizing New York City. It takes an already bad movie and makes it even more absurd.

2

Mutant Humans Take Down a Kaiju

Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)

Godzilla: Final Wars won't win any awards for acting, film or photography. However, that was never the intention; Godzilla: Final Wars was conceived as a detestably exaggerated tribute to the last 50 years of Godzilla's history. Many familiar friends and enemies return, including Rodan, Anguirus, Gigan, and Hedorah, among others. The entire film could qualify for this list, but one plot in particular stands out as more absurd than the others.

Godzilla has to fight the monsters that terrorize the world under the mental control of the Xiliens, who return in a return to Astro-Monster Invasion. Part of the group that faces the Xiliens are the Mutants, mutant superhumans who have greater kinesthesia, speed and strength. The Mutants are sent against Ebirah, the lobster monster, in an industrial area of ​​Tokai. They manage to kill Ebirah using nothing more than specialized weapons, some high heels, and Naruto running. It's one of the stupidest scenes in the entire history of Godzillaand the Mutants story in general is crazy.

1

A Bullied Boy Dreams of Godzilla and His Son

Attack of All the Monsters (1969)

All monsters attackalso known as Godzilla's Revenge in the United States, it is generally at the bottom of the rankings for Godzilla films. Its confusing tone, overuse of film, and irritating characters are often the main points of criticism, but the film's central concept is the strangest and silliest element of the entire project. A bullied boy named Ichiro goes into hiding to escape his tormentors and dreams of Godzilla and his disappointing son Minilla on Monster Island.

Minilla is also being bullied by the fortunately unique monster Gabara, and it's clear he's supposed to act as Ichiro's replacement. The action in Monster Island (which isn't a movie) is uninteresting, as is the bully monster Gabara, who takes a heart-pounding beating from Godzilla. What makes it so much worse/sillier is that it all happens entirely in Ichiro's mind.; it doesn't really happen and there are no consequences. It's the silliest and possibly the worst, Godzilla film.