90 Day Fiance star Angela Deem is being torn apart by the filthy house she used to share with her wayward ex Michael Ilesanmi, but perhaps the problems in her relationship have left her depressed and alone. Not every slob is depressed – everyone is different! However, there’s always the chance that while they were still together, the green card hunt and Michael’s womanizing ways were getting her down.
Maybe she didn’t feel like scrubbing floors when she lived the kind of life that inspired TLC’s classic hit, “No Scrubs.”
Michael played Angela like a violin, messing with the older woman’s head from day one. Now that Michael has escaped and is living the American dream, Angela thinks she has lost something, but in reality, she has been freed. It will just take a while before she realizes that she can enjoy life more on her own. People in toxic relationships get used to the ups and downs – they may even become addicted to them. However, ultimately, true happiness cannot be achieved in a relationship where one person uses the other. There will always be a void.
Angela’s house was sometimes a mess while she was with Michael, but the rest of her life was a mess too. In a way, it makes sense that what someone’s psychological resistance shows in their environment. However, some people have no pity. Instead, they attack Angela, criticizing her poor domestic skills. They don’t seem to be that hard on the man who accepted oral sex from another woman (in his car, no less) while he was Angela’s “partner.”
Angela deserves some shade. She is an impetuous person with a terrible temper. She needs to learn to control it. If she does this, her whole life will change. The housework issue isn’t a big deal, but maybe people should give Angela a break. She worked at a hospice, caring for people in palliative care. This work requires compassion. She takes care of her children and grandchildren. Angela also entertains the audience. Clearly, she is a very busy woman who possibly needs a maid.
Michael’s insincerity was always present, but Angela pushed it away, trying to believe him. It was a sad thing to witness. Yes, she would explode when all the doubts and fears festering inside her reached critical mass, and there is no excuse for some of the things she did. However, its use is also inexcusable. On both sides, there were serious problems.
Even if Michael had been nice, “Angie” probably would have abused him a few times. She just loses control easily, going too far. As for Michael, when did he truly love Angela? When did he cheat on her? When did he ask her for money? When did he try to use Facebook to connect with other women? Angela would feel uncomfortable – she alternated between considering Michael her Nigerian prince and calling him a possible scammer. Something inside her knew the score – once again, she pushed those thoughts away.
Living with a user will take its toll. Everything that a person keeps within themselves, they have to live with. Because they are internalizing so much (yes, even a firecracker like Angela doesn’t express all the pain she feels), they can sometimes feel lethargic. The effort to compartmentalize and try to have a good life can leave little energy for anything else, including household chores.
As the victim of Angela’s abuse, Michael deserves sympathy, but as a man who used old money to earn money and a Green Card, he deserves no sympathy. There is talk of him running away from Angela’s filthy house, but in truth, he never intended to stay there forever. Angela was a means to an end. The cold way people use partners in the 90 Day Fiance franchise is a little scary. It takes a lot of deceit to live with someone, or at least talk to them every day and night, and act and lie all the time.
Yes, Angela’s house was in bad shape, but she could always fix it up. It doesn’t take long to clean it. It’s a problem that can be easily resolved. The other issues in Angela’s life, like how to recover from so much heartbreak, are much more difficult to resolve. The best thing Angela can do is branch out – keep trying new things and let life happen.
When she tried hard to actually leave this botched, damaging relationship behind, she was overcome. She’s the one with the talent – the gift she has is the ability to entertain. Improving her skills in this area will probably be good for her. No one needs to live in the last 24 hours a day. Angela can bounce back from this, and maybe 90DF fans should go easy on her. They didn’t walk a mile in her shoes.