The golden bachelorette star Gerry Turner has taken shade since the end of his marriage to Theresa Nist, and in light of his cancer diagnosis, which he says influenced his decision to break up with Theresa, I believe he deserved none of it. In fact, I'm sure Gerry deserves kindness and respect. Yes, he didn't share what was going on with his health, but that's his problem, and Receiving a cancer diagnosis is extremely traumatic. Now, he's ready to take fans into his world, which has changed its axis.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face – Corinthians 13:12
Gerry needed time to come to terms with an incurable form of cancer. No one should have to go through this. It's a terrifying thing… a painful thing that people have to face. Cancer touches many lives, changing them forever. There is a lot of talk about “fighting” cancer, but courageous people, who fought with everything they had, died. Fighting is not always enough, and those who lose the battle are as heroic as the fallen. Gerry is bravely sharing his journey – that’s admirable. He was misunderstood and now people can really understand him.
Cancer touched my own life. Someone I love with all my heart received a diagnosis and that person was as brave as anyone could be. They called the diagnosis “disappointment,” trying to lighten the tone. It was about putting myself at ease… trying to calm myself down. I was an emotional wreck. The courage of cancer patients is something to marvel at – a testament to the beauty of the human spirit. When faced with the worst, those who journey through cancer show their true colors – their patience, their warrior spirit, their big heart.
Gerry had a good reason to break up with Theresa
He needed time before sharing it
Gerry was painted as the villain – the cold-hearted, influence-seeking scoundrel, but maybe he wasn't. He probably chose to end the relationship because he knew he was very sick. He probably didn't want Theresa to go through that ordeal with him.
If all of this is true and no one can speak for Gerry (we can only speculate), he was greatly honored. He was trying to spare Theresa the pain, just as my relative with cancer put me first by worrying about my feelings while living through a nightmare. According to PeopleGerry said his “incurable cancer” had one:
huge influence on my decision.
Gerry didn't know Theresa very well. They were a new couple who got married in a hurry. Maybe they really wanted a wedding – maybe they felt pressured to get married to please the public. They weren't strangers, but they were close enough. There was a lot about each other that they didn't know. Maybe that's why Gerry decided to break up the union after finding out he was sick. If they had been together for years, going through life's ups and downs, things might have been different.
It seems Gerry let Theresa go because he thought she would be happier that way. It feels more like an act of love than something painful. For this reason, we all need to revise our opinions of Gerry. We need to move forward with him, supporting him.
While it's true that we didn't have all the facts, we still rush to judgement, and that's up to us. Gerry has better things to do than worry about the thoughts of writers and social media users, but that doesn't mean there's nothing to apologize for. In light of what he's going through, I personally regret doubting him.
Doubt is natural, but sometimes judgment is too harsh
Gerry deserved more grace
There was some reason to doubt it – things ended so quickly between him and Theresa. Without knowing that he was ill, it was easy to conclude that Gerry was The Golden Bachelor for fame instead of love. Gerry seemed to emphasize this when he used a “Indiana, it's not that bad” t-shirt, referencing his home state. At the time, he and Theresa seemed to grow apart because neither of them would move to the other's state.
So “Gerry the scoundrel” is now an outdated concept…a cartoon stereotype. First of all, every man who breaks up with a woman is not a scoundrel. Secondly, Gerry seems to have a good reason for making the decision he did. In fact, it shows wisdom in light of how new and fragile his bond with Theresa was.
This all shows me how little we know ourselves sometimes, no matter how much we think we know. There are always parts of people that are kept secret, at least for a while. The assumptions we make about others can be very wrong.
I believe this is the case with Gerry.
He's been holding out for a while now, smiling online, making the best of things. He was brave enough to show some vulnerability, but he kept some things to himself, as many people might do. Clearly, he's not the Gerry we all thought we knew – the insincere reality show husband, the callous heartbreaker… in fact, it's Gerry's heart that's hurting because What he's facing is scary and sad.
So let's all celebrate this man for being so honest… for showing us who he really is… for putting up with us when we doubted him. Yes, those who sign up for reality shows know they will be criticized – they expect it, and it always happens. Sometimes that shade is deserved. In this case, no. It's our fault – and Gerry is more complex than we thought. When he broke up with Theresa, perhaps he felt he was freeing her. He would be alone, fighting cancer.
The Golden BachelorGerry Turner was a sunny and captivating screen presence. He was charming. The generous Leo became very famous because he was charismatic. People were rooting for him. They only turned against Gerry when his marriage ended, but they didn't have all the facts. Maybe he was always that fun, good-natured man, and never changed, or pretended to be something he wasn't. What changed was The Golden Bachelor the health status of the former student and nothing else.
Source: People