12 times I questioned the parenting choices in Gilmore Girls

The beloved 2000s show Gilmore Girls Focuses on family relationships across different generations, but some of the parenting decisions in the series leave a bad taste in my mouth. I have been a Gilmore Girls fan since my sister and I watched it together while it was on the air. Since it landed on Netflix in 2014, I’ve streamed it more times than I can count. I watch it when I’m happy, sad, mad, lost, or in need of comfort. It has gotten to the point that I know the smallest details and can quote almost every episode of the show.

however, My blossoming love for the series doesn’t mean it’s immune to scrutiny. Many aspects of the show haven’t aged well, leading to some Gilmore Girls storylines I wish I could forget. Additionally, watching the show now, I have different opinions about many parenting decisions than the first time I watched the show, with some sticking out as irresponsible, unhealthy, and disgusting.

12

Lorelai arrives with her daughter’s teacher

Dating Rory’s teacher is wildly inappropriate for both parties

From the beginning of Gilmore GirlLorelai makes some questionable decisions, such as dating Rory’s teacher, Max Medina. I think he is guilty, a little creepy in retrospect, and completely unprofessional on multiple occasions. however, The blame for the situation ultimately falls on Lorelai because she is the parent. Lorelai outwardly acknowledges how badly she and Max could impact Rory but chooses to do it anyway.

On top of that, she has very little discretion or boundaries. She uses her position as Max’s girlfriend to give Rory’s paper an A. Even if it’s a joke, it’s inappropriate. Then, she kisses him on Parents’ Day in the middle of a classroom. I love Lorelai, and I understand that her emotional maturity is not at a level typical of a parent because she gave birth so young. However, she drops the ball when handling the Max situation.

11

Emily manipulates Lorelai constantly

Emily Gilmore relies on control in her relationship with her daughter

Emily is the character I love to hate. She’s quippy and has perfect comedic timing, though She is also a judgmental and unrelenting parent who manipulates Lorelai every chance she gets. This is established in the first episode when she demands dinners with Lorelai and Rory in exchange for helping her daughter. This one instance could be written off if it was the only time, but her poor behavior continues throughout all eight seasons.

Emily sets Lorelai up on a date without her knowledge, keeps Rory up all night despite Lorelai, and tries to get Lorelai and Christopher together even though her daughter is happily in a relationship – to name a few examples. Even in the revival, Emily manipulates Lorelai by tricking her into therapy. However, the moment she is challenged, she abandons her daughter. Ultimately, Emily’s manipulation of Lorelai makes her daughter’s hostile behavior much more justified.

10

Luke makes promises to April without talking to Anna first

Luke makes promises he can’t necessarily keep

Of all parents in Gilmore GirlsLuke is the one who is the most consistent and caring, even to Jess and Rory – two kids who aren’t even technically his. However, one moment when I sympathize with him and question his judgment is when He promises April that she will come back for spring break and summer.

This is a challenging situation because April is emotionally distraught about moving across the country to a place she doesn’t know, surrounded by people she doesn’t know. I can understand his desire to provide her with a small amount of comfort and consistency; However, he should have talked to Anna before making any promises to April. His fight to have April is completely justified. Direct communication and working as a team whenever possible is essential for co-parenting, though

9

Liz leaves Jess when things get tough

Liz sends Jess off to Luke without a second thought

One parenting decision that infuriates me every time I watch Gilmore Girls Is Liz’s decision to leave Jess when things get challenging rather than learn to be a better parent. She may have felt that Luke could do a better job raising Jess, but she may have moved to Stars Hollow to be with him. She could write him letters, call him on the phone and visit him.

There were so many options that didn’t involve him leaving with a family member he didn’t know too well without any resources or support. Furthermore, she declines to let Jess come home for Christmas – not for an extended period of time, but for a few weeks at most. Jess going to Stars Hallow is ultimately the best thing for him in the long run, but that doesn’t excuse Liz’s behavior.

8

Anna won’t let April meet Lorelai

Anna’s protectiveness seems overblown under the circumstances

Unlike many Gilmore Girls Fans, I love April Nardini and find her incredibly relatable. Unfortunately, everyone else in the situation frustrates me, even though I love Luke and Lorelai. Luke doesn’t make an effort to include his fiancée in his child’s life, despite his desire to have a long-term relationship with April and Lorelai. Lorelai gets overwhelmed by trying to build a relationship with April during her birthday party without talking to Anna.

However, the most frustrating thing is Anna refusing to let Lorelai meet and have a relationship with April. I empathize with her desire to protect April so her daughter doesn’t lose someone important. however, Luke and Lorelai already have a wedding dayFor the sake of goodness. Plus, her daughter is 12 years old, so the over-protectiveness about her meeting a new adult, in this specific case, seems a bit overblown.

7

Christopher barely acts as a father to Rory

Christopher does not take his role as a father seriously

Christopher is an absent father to Rory, whose parenting decisions cause grief. He looks at Rory more as a respectable to parade around than if he is a capable father. He hardly shows up when she needs him. He doesn’t attend her high school graduation at the end of season 3 or her goodbye party in the Gilmore Girls Finale. There is no indication that he tries to support Lorelai financially until he inherits his grandfather’s money.

The one time she asks him to give her and Lorelai space, he completely ignores this request. Rory’s dad only starts showing up more when he has Gigi, and it’s only because he needs help from Lorelai and Rory. Christopher just got worse and worse throughout Gilmore Girls, becoming less reliable and more fluffy. Based on his behavior, he is the definition of a deadbeat dad.

6

Emily rarely appreciates Lorelai’s successes

Emily Gilmore is especially critical of Lorelai

Another serious parenting flaw of Emily Gilmore is her lack of pride in Lorelai’s accomplishments. She went into parenthood with severe thoughts about her daughter’s behavior and personality, a sadly common problem. Lorelai never seemed to fit the mold set by her parents, and rebelled against their strict rules and expectations. Her mom sees all her accomplishments as not being good enough, which is painfully relatable, leading Emily to insult Lorelai repeatedly in Gilmore Girls.

I want to cry every time she dismisses Lorelai’s life as not good enough. She doesn’t seem to appreciate that Lorelai is working hard, buying a house and raising a well-mannered child. She also disregards Lorelai’s happy relationship. The two notable exceptions with Emily are her celebrating Lorelai’s graduation and her acknowledging the phone conversation about the inn. However, she largely fails to recognize that Lorelai is an autonomous person who does not owe her mother undying loyalty and compliance.

5

Richard blames Lorelai for ruining her life by getting pregnant

Although I generally love Richard Gilmore, there are some moments I cannot forgive. After Straub and Francine begin degrading Lorelai, he defends her. However, his attitude changes when she goes into his office to offer him food and thank him for what he said. He goes on a tirade against Lorelai, Claiming she put her parents through hell and subjected them to public humiliation. He also implies that she caused the family shame by not marrying Christopher.

He then blames Lorelai for running away with Rory from him and Emily, disregarding that they don’t own Lorelai or Rory. They didn’t owe time to either of them. Their relationship with Rory is something Lorelai graciously allows them to have despite the way they treat Lorelai. In the end, this is one of the worst things Richard has ever done Gilmore Girls. He takes Lorelai’s gratitude and humility and throws it back in her face instead of a bonding moment.

4

Christopher doesn’t set boundaries with Gigi

While he was an absent father to Rory, Christopher had no choice but to take care of Gigi because Sherry abandoned her (another moment that almost landed on the list of times I judged the parenting decisions in Gilmore Girls). Unfortunately, because he’s not around for Rory, he doesn’t know how to care for a child.

He also feels like he has to make sure Sherry is gone, which I was completely offended by. I have seen how difficult it is to be a single parent, although I have not experienced it first hand. The parental choice in this situation that I ask is to let her get away with anything she wants. She has no sense of boundaries and does not respond to the word “no” – Skills that are important to implement early. Fortunately, he eventually rectifies the issue by enforcing rules.

3

Lorelai doesn’t talk to Rory after she leaves Yale

I usually have different expectations of Lorelai when it comes to parenting because she became a mom as a teenager, making her less mature than other parents in the series. However, this is exactly why I have a hard time understanding Lorelai giving Rory the silent treatment after she is arrested and leaving Yale – one of the most controversial Gilmore Girls storylines. She knows what it’s like to be scolded by her parents for a decision that some would consider a mistake. Rory is in a similar position.

The youngest Gilmore was going through one of the most challenging times in her young adult life right before Lorelai cut her off. Everyone thinks she’s making the wrong choice. I understand if Lorelai can’t condone Rory’s choice based on that reason. However, it seems cruel for Lorelai to completely cut Rory when she knows the feeling of isolation and estrangement.

2

Emily doesn’t try to understand Lorelai

One of the most obvious things in Gilmore Girls Is that Emily and Lorelai are drastically different people. Emily likes order, social rules, plans and all things prestigious. Her idea of ​​fun is attending social functions and participating in the DAR. On the other hand, Lorelai likes pop culture, food, goofiness, jokes, town meetings and coffee. She doesn’t concern herself with many societal expectations, picking and choosing what she thinks are meaningful.

It’s okay that people are different. The parenting choice I struggle with in this case is that Emily does not try to understand or relate to her daughter. Everything should not be her way. She can support her daughter’s personality and interests despite their differencesBut Emily doesn’t seem remotely interested in being flexible, except on rare occasions.

1

Lorelai tries to be Rory’s best friend instead of her mother

My most controversial opinion about parenting choices in Gilmore Girls is this Lorelai and Rory’s relationship is unhealthy. Lorelai says very bluntly that she and Rory are best friends first and mother-daughter second. This means that Rory is often more mature than her mother, sticks to rules and has few secrets. The pair have a hard time getting along, with Lorelai revealing far too much about her personal life to Rory and demanding the same in return.

For example, she emotionally flips out when Rory doesn’t immediately tell her about kissing Dean and then invites him for a movie without talking to Rory first. Lorelai doesn’t understand healthy boundaries. Rather than malicious, Lorelai’s attempt to be Rory’s best friend in Gilmore Girls Seems like a change after the oppressive household she grew up in, but that doesn’t change the fact that the dynamic can be harmful.