10 Most Hardcore Quotes From Kids’ Movies (That Feel Really Out Of Place)

Movies Aimed at children are typically more lighthearted affairs, but that doesn’t stop the occasional screenwriter from injecting some surprisingly chilling dialogue into an otherwise family-friendly story. Even the best movies made for kids are less intense by their very nature, with rating guidelines and cultural sensibilities usually demanding a more relaxed tone. While children’s films can delve into more serious topics like heartbreak and death, it’s certainly rare that their dialogue is exactly hardcore.

There are rare children’s movies that break the trend, with some hard-hitting quotes that rank with the best movie lines in history. Sometimes, these witticisms make sense in an overall more mature family picture skating through a PG or PG-13 rating, but in other instances, they feel jarringly out-of-place in an otherwise fun or downright obscure piece of children’s entertainment. Sounding even more hardcore when taken out of context, it’s hard to believe some lines ever made it into the final draft of a kid’s movie screenplay.

10

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he also lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Romero, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams

If there’s one kid’s movie franchise that’s unashamedly childish, it’s Robert Rodriguez. Game Spy Kids Movies. Filled to the brim with nonsensical slapstick humor, cartoonish CGI and hilariously stupid line reads, a deeply philosophical script isn’t exactly what audiences expect going into any of these pint-sized espionage thrillers.

however, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams Dispenses a shockingly deep and disturbing line when the younger OSS agents meet Steve Buscemi’s Romero, An isolated scientist. Romero tells June and Carmen Cortez how he came to be stuck hiding away in a secret volcano lair on the titular island after his genetic experiments went wrong, populating the land with all kinds of fantastic creatures.

While staring deep into the middle distance, Romero muses on how he was playing God, questioning if his own divine creator could also live in fear of humanity. Seeing this line alone without context, it would be impossible to guess that it was from a film as campy and lighthearted as Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams.

9

“For every person who dreams up the electric bulb, there is the one who dreams up the atom bomb.”

Mister Electric, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D

of course, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams Would not be the only children’s movie by Robert Rodriguez to put some hardcore philosophical musings. Enter The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D, An even more absurd film that makes the Game Spy Kids Series seem like an award-winning drama.

One memorable element is George Lopez’s Mr. Electric, protagonist Max’s nightmare interpretation of his homeroom teacher at school. Mr. Electric’s appearance as a giant face projected across the screen from a lamp-shaped ottoman coursing with electricity makes for an amusing sight.

In one instance, however, Mr. Electric completely derails the whimsical tone of the story when he rambles on about the destructive potential of dreams. after all, “For every person who dreams of the electric bulb, there is the one who dreams of the atom bomb.” It’s a shame that Lopez’s Mr. Electric didn’t return to the screen before Oppenheimer.

8

“It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and there’s not enough dog to go around.”

Zootie, Babe: Pig in the City

Famous, the sequel to the classic, adorable farmhouse story of Babe Exists in the strange filmography of George Miller, better known for the Mad Max Series. Whereas the first film was a calm, gentle, uplifting story about an adorable farm animal who managed to beat the odds, the Babe: Pig in the city is decidedly darker, keeping in line with Miller’s own macabre sensibility. This is no better demonstrated than with the wise words spoken by, of all characters, a chimpanzee named Zotie.

Babe: Pig in the city becomes shockingly philosophical at one point, when the film’s coterie of animals discuss the idea that all that matters is what’s happening in the moment, “All you have is this real now-ness.” To punctuate the sentiment, Zootie the chimpanzee coldly claims “It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and there aren’t enough dogs to go around.” No line better encapsulates the gritty urban madness of Babe: Pig in the city Better than this hilarious nihilistic quote.

7

“Your future is a horror story, written by your crime!”

Marley and Marley, The Muppet Christmas Carol

One of the most charming Christmas movies ever made, The Muppet Christmas Carol which adapted Charles Dickens’ classic novel A Christmas Carol With a Muppet flair. The film was a shockingly faithful depiction of the story, despite all the Muppet silliness, made all the better by the esteemed actor Michael Caine playing his role as Ebeneezer Scrooge as serious as the grave. While the script sometimes lifted lines directly from the book, his songs also packed some lyrical bombs.

The most alarming of these comes during the song sung by Marley and Marley, the ghostly apparitions standing in for James Marley in the original text, portrayed by the Muppets Statler and Waldorf. One rhyme of their foul song warns Scrooge of his afterlife should his current greedy trajectory continue, warning “Your future is a horror story, written by your crime!“ The lyric wouldn’t be out of place in a heavy metal anthem, let alone a song in a holiday-themed movie featuring the lovable Muppets.

6

“Go to hell” “Where do you think I came from?”

Beans to Rattlesnake Jake, Rango

Easily one of the legendary Gore Verbinski’s best films, Rango is completely unique as a children’s film. Conveyed with crude, ultra-realistic graphics that nevertheless create cartoonish animal characters, the neo-western balanced goofy gags and Johnny Depp’s outrageous performance as the titular lizard sheriff with really exciting action with flying bullets and huge humor that easily flies over kids’ heads . The one element the script never jokes about, however, is the terrifying villain Rattlesnake Jake.

A massive venomous bandit snake with a Gatling gun for a rattle, Rattlesnake Jake is as terrifying an enemy as the universe Rangos anthropomorphic animals. Jake enjoys his terrifying reputation, posing as a demon from Hell, which he refers to as his home during a tense conversation with Beans. The venom with which Bill Nighy, who played Verbinski’s other most famous villain, Davy Jones, spits out this line is just as caustic as Jake’s own.

5

“You’d be surprised what you can live through”

Jafar, the return of Jafar

The Disney direct-to-video sequels do not have the highest reputations, usually swept under the rug by both Disney themselves and fans. If there is one of them that deserves some recognition for his writing, however, this is it Aladdin Follow-up The Return of Jafar. With the first movie’s promise of the threat of Jafar with the all-powerful cosmic permission to change the universe like a genius, the film plays with the typical conventions for the magical beings established in the first film.

Abis Mal, the leader of the thieves, tried to rationalize away the threat of Jafar, and tried to throw back in his face his own admission of Jafar. Reminding Jafar that he is unable to use his powers to kill, the evil genie just says “You would be surprised what you can live through.” This is later repeated in defeat by the original genius during a close encounter with Jafar. The chilling line has some disturbing implications about fates worse than death Jafar could have in mind for his enemies.

4

“I’ve got better things to do tonight than die”

Springer, The Transformers: The Movie

While Transformers one may be reinvigorating the franchise after decades of live-action films, it’s easy to forget that the latest entry in the Transformers Series is only returned to the roots of the original film. The very first theatrical appearance of the Cybertronians, The Transformers: The Movie is quite dark in some respects, famously killing off Optimus Prime much to the dismay of young fans of the first generation. This uneven tone also shined through in certain dialogue exchanges throughout the film.

The above line is said by Springer, an Autobot with a helicopter alternate mode with a bombastic action hero personality. He shows this character trait in the film during the defense of Autobot City, a proud declaration of his intention to survive the harrowing battle. Considering how many cartoons avoid the word “die” like the plague, in favor of synonyms like “destroy,” it’s quite a treat to hear such dramatic dialogue coming from a toy-generating franchise like Transformers.

3

“How many people does it take to deliver a message?” “One.”

Shan Yu, Mulan

Even though Disney’s direct-to-video sequels may have been afforded more room to get dark compared to their theatrically released older siblings, Disney isn’t always afraid to get serious with its stories. This is especially important for mulan, Which does not shy away from depicting the horrors of war, even if sanitized through an ultimately child-friendly lens.

These themes shine most prominently during the scene in which the villain Hun Shan Yu allows two Chinese soldiers to escape in order to let the Emperor know he is coming. Shan Yu, watching the two men run away, scratched his chin, realizing that both of them did not need to survive to deliver such a message.

He carries so much for his bow, which at once nocks an arrow and takes aim, in order to always free one of the messengers from his duty. Although the final kill happens off-screen, the terrifying line carries the weight of one of Disney’s few overt murders.

2

“This is what it looks like you actually fought in a battle.”

Ezylryb, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole

Based on a best-selling young adult fantasy series, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole is an oddly stylistic outlier in Zack Snyder’s filmography. A family-friendly story might seem out of place for the director, more famous for dark and gritty storytelling, but Snyder handles the adaptation well enough. That said, he’s also sure to interject a personal touch of heavier themes into the script, with one particular line standing out for its authenticity.

At one point in the film, the idealistic and enthusiastic Aul Sorn reveals that his teacher, Ezilrib, is secretly his personal hero, the warrior Aul Liz of Kiel. Sorn is shocked to see the unflattering condition that Izilrib’s body is in due to his battles, which the old mentor uses as a teachable moment. Lyze assures Sorn that warfare is not glamorous or noble, but a harsh truth one must sometimes endure. It is quite shocking to see such a poignant message about the horrors of war manifested in such a fantastic movie starring talking owls.

1

“The only hope is the sweet release of death.”

Lumalee, the Super Mario Bros. movie

Not every hardcore-sounding line in a children’s movie feels like an out-of-place genre shift. Sometimes such important lines are played for laughs, as is the case with Lumale’s laments. A catsy living star providing the representation of the film for the Super Mario Galaxy Lumalee is a prisoner of Bowser along with Luigi and many other creatures of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Lumalee is comically moral, despite his peppy tone and childlike voice. He scares Luigi by postulating that the only hope for escaping Bowser’s clutches is “The sweet release from death“, provided by far the most morbid lines of the entire film. The nihilistic Lumale even seems to want to die, disappointed in his eventual rescue. Even if his lines are played as jokes, out of context, they are quite macabre, making for One of the most alarmingly nihilistic characters in any child Movie.