Although Netflix External Banks is a thriller and mystery treasure hunt, it is also a very funny series. The main characters start the show as sixteen-year-olds who love their fair share of one-liners. They are constantly making fun of each other and getting into the weirdest situations. The script is true to the way teenagers talk, and with characters as selfish as the Pogues, they’re sure to deliver some memorable lines.
External Banks was planned to have five seasons, and in November 2024, Netflix announced that the fifth season will be the show’s last. Although the Pogues have searched for a few different treasures, been to a few different counties, and been in danger countless times, they’ve always had time for a well-placed joke, a snarky comment, or a cutting retort. It’s these funny quotes that help break the tension and drama of the series’ adventures.
“Don’t worry, I’ll sweeten your mommy.”
Sarah in Season 1, Episode 4, ‘Spy Games’
Sarah and John B initially don’t get along, although there is definitely a spark. After they spend the day together in season one, it’s clear that they have a lot to learn about each other, and there’s more to their chemistry than meets the eye.
Pogue meets Kook’s fashion when John B and Sarah venture to Chapel Hill to find Denmark Tanney’s belongings in the state archives. Before entering the building, they need to improve their clothes if they want to fit in. Sarah takes John B shopping and he quickly realizes how expensive the costumes will be. “Oh my God. Have you ever seen this shirt? It’s $190,” John B says in disbelief. “Don’t worry,” Sara responds“I’ll sweeten you mommy.“
Although many of their flirtations had been subtle up to that point, it’s clear there’s a connection between John B and Sarah. Madelyn Cline delivers the line perfectly, with Sarah catching John B off guard. It really starts their whole flirting as Vlad and Val, causing them to fall hard in love with each other.
“There was a hurricane, honey.”
Ward in Season 1, Episode 1 “Pilot”
Ward’s response about the hurricane is given matter-of-factly, but it doesn’t come out of nowhere. This exchange between Wheezie Cameron and her father, Ward, perfectly sums up today’s dependence on the internet. The morning after a devastating hurricane hits the city, the Camerons assess the damage to their Figure Eight mansion. Wheezie, 13, goes out to inform her father: “WiFi is not working. I can’t post anything.“
Ward, a little worried about the power lines running into his house, gently responds, “There was a hurricane, honey.” The Cameron family, who never seem to want anything, would be used to living a life of privilege, especially Wheezie. The youngest daughter of the Cameron family, the biggest difficulty she encounters is competing for attention with her older sister before the events of series really begins.
“He’s as direct as a Spaniard. Just, good riddance.”
JJ in Season 2, Episode 8 “The Cross”
In season 2, Luke Maybank gets into trouble with the law. The Maybanks are no strangers to ending up in prison, as is repeatedly pointed out to JJ throughout the show’s first three seasons. This time, however, he decides to run away and JJ helps him get out of town.
When JJ gives a heartfelt speech to the other Pogues about having no one left to count on, he also says that the abusive man who raised him also left him. Although it’s an emotional speech from JJ about the Pogues being all he has, the mood is a little lighter with this line.
While it’s clear the Pogues appreciate his sentiment and feel the same way, they can’t resist teasing him for mixing Spanish and French in his explanation. Momentary delay is normal for the show, which is full of dramatic moments and characters in peril, but also moments that can make the audience laugh out loud.
“That’s JJ. Mild kleptomaniac and a future tax fraud.”
John B in Season 1, Episode 1 ‘Pilot’
At the beginning of the series, John B has some hilarious words to describe his friends. JJ, the lovable delinquent of the group, is considered a “mild kleptomaniac” and a “future tax evader.” The audience can’t really talk about the tax fraud part, but JJ carefully steals a few items throughout the series, including the keys to his father’s boat, sailing supplies from his father’s former employer, and money from various people. Given the Pogues’ treasure hunt, his ability is quite useful.
In fact, when Cleo wants to know what JJ brings to the group after meeting him, he doesn’t tell her right away. Only when she discovers that he is very good at stealing people’s wallets does he tell her that his “job” in the group is to steal.
“Denial is underrated. You should try it sometime.”
John B in Season 1, Episode 2 ‘The Lucky Compass’
John B’s internal monologues are often full of humor and a bit of sarcasm. At the beginning of episode 2, he explains that his colleagues have been trying to convince him of his father’s death for nine months. Still, he doesn’t believe it and is determined to prove that his father is alive and missing. “They say I’m in denial,“he says.”Whatever.“
According to John B, denial can be useful. “Denial is underrated. You should try it sometime. It is highly effective and is only denial if you are wrong.” he adds. He’s right. And at least he’s sticking to his beliefs.
His denial of bad events actually serves him well throughout the series. He is able to reunite with his father before his father’s death. His denial often keeps him alive, just as he seeks the best outcome in horrible situations and clings to them even when they are unlikely. The line may have initially been played for laughs, but it remains consistent for his character throughout the show.
“I’ll be so safe.”
JJ and Pope in season 1
The idea of being safe is pushed a lot during the first season by JJ and Pope as a joke. It first comes up when Kie tells John B to stay safe as he heads to Scooter’s motel room. Initially, JJ persists in encouraging John B to attack Kiara, who he is convinced likes John B. When they are out of earshot, JJ begins massaging John B’s shoulders and mocking Kiara. “Just be very careful, John B. Oh, just give me that John D, already!” John B rolls his eyes and mocks JJ’s obsession with girls.
The idea, however, also returns at the end of the season. When the Pogues and Sarah venture into Parcel 9, which is also the home of an elderly ax murderer, the girls decide to approach the house alone to turn off the motion sensor lights. John B tells them to be safe. Pope and JJ wait until they are out of earshot before turning to each other.
JJ takes Pope’s face in her hands and with an adoring look says, “Be safe.” Pope returns the look and replies: “I’ll be so safe… for you.” John B threatens to kill them both. Pope asks, “But how would that keep us safe?” The recurring part is a way to break the tension when the group is in dangerous situations.
“So I broke the wrong guy out of prison, sue me.”
JJ in Season 2, Episode 5 “The Darkest Hour”
While there are many darker moments in JJ’s stories, he is also often the comic relief in the first two seasons of the series. Many of the funniest lines come from his reactions to his own mistakes while the rest of his friends blame him. That’s exactly the case in this Season 2 quote.
JJ comes up with a plan to get John B out of police custody to ensure he doesn’t end up in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. It’s about getting John B out in an ambulance, and he’s so sure his plan will work that, for a moment, the audience might even be on his side, no matter how crazy the idea.
Unfortunately, as with most of JJ’s plans, things fall apart before they can get off the ground. JJ accidentally ends up with a different inmate in the ambulance, breaking the wrong person out of jail and having to appeal to Pope and Kiara to help get him out of trouble. They help him, but with a lot of annoyance, which prompted this quote from JJ.
“I was on the math team!”
Pope in Season 1, Episode 1 “Pilot”
When John B and JJ break into Scooter’s motel room in the pilot episode, they still don’t know that this room belongs to a dead man. They only know that the room key came from a very expensive sunken boat. The police come to investigate while the boys are inside. Fortunately, Pope and Kiara are looking for their friends. Not much luck with his skills when it comes to warning John B and JJ about law enforcement on their way to the room.
They run to the side of the building to warn the boys. Pope tries to throw rocks at the window, but they don’t even come close to hitting the wall. Kiara looks at him. “Have you never played baseball?she asks, horrified.I was on the math team!” he hisses. It’s a hilarious way to show the audience that John B will continually refer to Pope as the brains of the group rather than the one with the most physical abilities.
“Pentagon… We have security clearance.”
JJ in season 1, episode 1 “Pilot”
The day after the hurricane, John B and JJ embark on a fishing trip. But they can’t go without their fellow Pogues. They pass Pope at work after JJ notices that Miss Amy is “totally” staring at him. John B confirms he saw it. The boys mime using walkie-talkies and call Pope to a “safety meeting – attendance required”, but Pope’s father won’t let him go. JJ counters that the day after the hurricane is a free day, and when that doesn’t work, he says it’s on Pentagon orders.
Heyward is unimpressed with JJ’s antics, but unlike most of the other parental figures seen on the show, he is there for Pope when he needs them. Then the argument actually consists of a lot of back and forth with the Pogues on the boat and Heyward on the dock in front of his property. Pope finally runs off and jumps into the boat, and the scene is worth laughing at before the Pogues get caught up in all the drama.
“Stop barking at the snakes!”
John B in Season 1, Episode 2 ‘The Lucky Compass’
The Pogues are trying to break into the cemetery where John B’s great-great-grandmother, Olivia Redfield, is buried. Just when they are about to storm the tomb, a large moccasin slides out, scaring everyone – except JJ. JJ starts barking at this. “They’re afraid of dogs, everyone knows that.” The others tell him to shut up before anyone sees them, but JJ also starts barking into the tomb.
It’s a ridiculous idea that snakes, which often bite dogs, are afraid to bark a little. In fact, barking would probably scare them more and make them more likely to attack. JJ, being JJ, doesn’t really like being told what to do, even by his closest friends, so he keeps barking. It’s a great way to show how hilariously in-depth the group of teenagers are when they begin the treasure hunt. Even though they will gain more experience in the coming seasons, they will still have moments like this.
“Um, may I have permission to help you in the bathroom?”
Pope in Season 2, Episode 1 “The Gold”
Out of context, this particular quote from Pope might not seem like the funniest of them all. In the context of the second season of External Banks however, it is delivered perfectly by Jonathan Daviss and is sure to make the audience laugh.
It comes at a time when JJ, Kiara and Pope mourn the loss of John B and Sarah. They believe their friends died at sea during a storm, not knowing they would live to reach the Bahamas. When one of them receives a text message from an unknown number, they discover that Sarah and John B are still alive – in the middle of school no less.
JJ and Kiara simply run out of the room, presumably to go to the bathroom, so they can deal with the information they just received and try to talk to Sarah more. Pope, who has always been the least likely to act out and the most likely to value the time he spends in class, awkwardly raises his hand and asks to leave. It’s a great character moment for him because it definitely shows that there’s a small rift between Pope and his more impulsive friends.
“It’s a little Tootsie roll!”
JJ in season 1, episode 3 “The Forbidden Zone
After security finds the Pogues at the cemetery, they flee. Everyone skillfully climbs the fence until Pope is trapped. Her shorts are tied at the top. Kiara runs back to take him down, but he panics and keeps repeating, “You will tear, you will tear,“because he doesn’t want to lose any of his clothes in the chase.
The guards are quickly approaching when Kiara finally knocks him down, leaving his tattered shorts hanging from the fence. They run to the van, Pope crouching and covering himself as the others taunt him. It’s JJ who understands the line, “Cool, man… It’s a little Tootsie Roll” while the others laugh at JJ’s antics and advise him to leave Pope alone.
Because Pope is so serious and JJ is someone ready to jump at any moment, the two often clash on the show. Even as JJ mocks Pope, he never would have left him behind.
“You just Yes About this chain?”
Sarah in Season 1, Episode 4, ‘Spy Games’
“Spy Games” is a great episode for Sarah Cameron lines. After that, her life becomes a little more dramatic when she loses trust in her father, her brother tries to kill her, and her ex-boyfriend gets a little murderous with her friends. Sarah doesn’t get many chances after the first season for funny jokes or lighter lines, as she’s living a traumatized existence and just trying to survive.
Here, John B is running from the police as usual, this time on a stolen bike. He is on the run because it was discovered that he is a minor and lives without a guardian. He speeds up a ramp and over a fence, where a group of children look on in awe. “Stay at school!he calls over his shoulder, only to find another boy in front of him. He swerves and spots a chain blocking his access to the main roads. He brakes and flies over the chain, landing painfully on his side.
Sarah Cameron is leaving a nearby store and runs to help. “Face! Did you just walk past this current?” she says, before helping him to his feet. His surprising use of the word “yeet” offline is what kicks off their day together when she decides to help him.
“Well, well, well.”
Pope in Season 1, Episode 5 “Instalment 9”
With so many parental figures absent – or just planning bad figures – in External Banksthere aren’t many silly puns or dad jokes. Instead of these lines falling on an adult character in the series, Pope is the master of dad jokes and ill-timed humor. For example, when the Pogues discover the well under an ax murderer’s house, he says, “Well, well, well.”
With the utmost seriousness, John B comments: “That was a good dad joke.” Meanwhile, a serial killer is sleeping just two floors above, while $400 million in gold is hidden below. It’s a shocking moment in a tense sequence and the perfect example of how External Banks diffuses tension in a scene. The show has become a master of this over the years, but this might be the best use of a dad joke on television in recent years.
“Are we really going to worry about the details now?”
JJ in Season 4, Episode 2 “Blackbeard”
If the public had to choose the most impulsive member of the Pogues, it would, without a doubt, be JJ. JJ is not known for his patience or listening skills. He wants to take action whenever there is the possibility of action. This includes when the action is incredibly dangerous.
In season four, JJ throws away what’s left of the Pogues’ gold before they have to pay property taxes on Maybank’s land and their businesses. The group decides to listen to the proposal of payment for the discovery of a necklace that belonged to the wife of the notorious pirate Blackbeard. Although JJ is immediately ready for any danger because he knows he needs a quick payment, his friends want details.
Cleo, in particular, wants to know how viable it is to dive a wreck in waters protected by the Coast Guard. When JJ asks this question as the group begins to discuss their options, everyone gives him a unanimous “yes,” saying they need to worry about the details. JJ may never want to worry about the details, but it’s the details that can get them into trouble, and the rest of the group has learned from their past experiences. It’s a fun moment in the middle of a tense situation to External Banks.