Trailer Park Boys has given audiences some greasy quotes over the years, but no one is quite as relatable as Bubbles (Mike Smith) — here are the best Bubbles quotes. The kitty-loving cart thief lives in a shed, but somehow, he’s the anchor that keeps his friends Ricky (Robb Wells), and Julian (John Paul Tremblay) grounded. Oddly enough, despite his career in the world of crime, he’s managed to stay out of jail more than his associates. There’s something genuine about him that made fans fall in love with him.
While Trailer Park Boys had a solid following in the series’ home country of Canada, the boys from the Sunnyvale Trailer Park have extended their fan base immensely since the series and assorted projects were brought to Netflix, resulting in new seasons, films, and live specials starring Ricky, Julian, and of course, Bubbles. Bubbles often plays dual roles as both the conscience and the heart of the Trailer Park Boys, and he has dropped a number of amazing Bubbles quotes that compete with some of the best ‘Rickyisms’ from the series due to how relatable they are to fans.
15 “Have A Nice Day, And Go F*** Yourself!”
Season 2, Episode 5, “The Bible Pimp”
Bubbles has a unique form of passive-aggressiveness that doesn’t quite understand the meaning of the term, as he will always endeavor to be polite to everyone around him while also making sure to let anyone know if he’s mad at them, and audiences definitely all felt like doing the same thing. Bubbles has used a few different versions of one of the most recognizable Bubbles quotes, including repurposing it as an answer to a question in “The Bible Pimp” (Season 2, Episode 5), and it was even used as the title for the Christmas special “Dear Santa Claus, Go F**k Yourself!”
14 “I’m Not Running Over A Kitty To Save Your F****** Dope, Ricky!”
Season 2, Episode 7, “The Bare Pimp Project”
While there are plenty of things people don’t know about Bubbles, one thing that’s obvious is that Bubbles is first and foremost an animal lover, especially of the various kitties he takes care of around the trailer park, and he revealed in “The Bare Pimp Project,” saying one of the funniest Bubbles quotes, that he isn’t willing to hurt a kitty, even if it interferes with their plans for early retirement.
While the boys are attempting to escape the police with Bubbles at the wheel, a cat darted out in front of the vehicle, and Bubbles was forced to swerve, taking out the truck and trailer that they thought was filled with hash, but really it was the evidence of the growing operation.
13 “I Ain’t Never Been So Frisky Before In My Whole Life!”
Season 2, Episode 7, “The Bare Pimp Project”
J-Roc (Jonathan Torrence) always has a number of his own schemes going, just like Ricky and Julian, though his business plans tend to fall in the greasier categories of Sunnyvale life, like when he attempted to film an adult movie in his mother’s trailer, or sometimes in the woods. He recruited Bubbles to star in the movie once again after their first attempt was interrupted, and as they were heading towards the filming location Bubbles teased how excited he was by busting out one of the funniest Bubbles quotes. As he previously revealed, that didn’t happen for Bubbles that often, so he was feeling pretty energized by the prospect.
12 “Should I Be Getting Baked For This, Boys?”
Season 7, Episode 1, “I F******g Miss Cory And Trevor”
“That water bong’s so smooth, you don’t realize how high you’re getting until it’s too late.” Bubbles certainly enjoyed his own share of the cannabis smoked during the series, though he also usually had a good head on his shoulders and knew that it was important to stay sober for important occasions and events that demanded his full attention, resulting in one of the most memorable Bubbles quotes.
Unfortunately, he’s also best friends with Ricky, who doesn’t always give him the best advice. A good example was when Bubbles questioned his sobriety levels after trying Ricky’s new strain before a meat-stealing operation in “I F******g Miss Cory And Trevor” which he then messed up despite Ricky telling him to smoke more.
11 “One Time I Was Making A Model, And I Glued The Wing Of A B-17 Bomber To My Bird By Accident.”
Season 4, Episode 5, “Conky”
Okay, maybe this line in one of the best episodes of Trailer Park Boys isn’t the most relatable of all the Bubbles quotes, but anyone has had something they’ve been passionate about that may have led to a bit of distracted absent-mindedness. In Bubbles’ case, that absent-mindedness resulted in an unfortunate mishap with model glue while using the bathroom. The quote also highlights Bubbles’ extreme honesty with both his friends and the documentary crew filming the residents of Sunnyvale Trailer Park.
10 “Well, When I Was A Little Guy, I Always Wanted To Go Up Into Space, Be A Spaceman. But You Gotta Be Able To See Really F****n’ Good To Do That Job.”
Season 3, Episode 2, “Temporary Relief Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor”
“Some guy would take one look at me and say…’uhhh, sorry sir, you gotta be able to see a little better than that.’ I don’t give a f***k.” Space is the final frontier, and for Bubbles, it was his dream, resulting in some of the funniest Bubbles quotes. Unfortunately, being an astronaut is really difficult if you don’t have good eyesight, and that deterred audiences’ favorite Sunnyvale Trailer Park resident.
Bubbles opened up about his failed aspirations after he missed out on getting the assistant supervisor position at his trailer park in “Temporary Relief Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor” (Season 3, Episode 2), which he attributes to his vision as well. Maybe one day things will work out for the poor-sighted character.
9 “I Don’t Want To Be Known As The Guy Who Walks Up And Slaps Dadonkadonks.”
Season 5, Episode 6, “Don’t Cross the S***line”
When filming one of J-Roc’s “greasy movies” in “Don’t Cross the S***line,” he’s asked to walk up and slap one of the actresses on her behind, but Bubbles, ever the gentleman, doesn’t feel comfortable doing that, resulting in one of the funniest and yet most chivalrous Bubbles quotes. He was eventually asked why, especially after he didn’t have a problem with it in past movies, and he explains that he was a different character then. Now that he’s not a Russian super-agent, he doesn’t like the idea of objectifying women like that. Audiences have to appreciate Bubbles here, as he doesn’t want to be that guy.
8 “Ricky, Can’t We Just Have One Day Of No Yelling And No Horses*** And Just Play Some F****** Hockey?’
Season 3, Episode 7, “The Delusions of Officer Jim Lahey”
Bubbles’ life is hectic, and a lot of that is because of his affiliation with Ricky, and he just wanted a break from it all in “The Delusions of Officer Jim Lahey,” resulting in one of the most highly-relatable Bubbles quotes. In the great white north, there’s no better way to relax than to kick back, crack open a Molson, and play some road hockey. Unfortunately for Bubbles, he happened to say this on the anniversary of the day Mr. Lahey was kicked off the police force because of the boys, so shenanigans are afoot.
7 “On Special Occasions, I Always Pound The Liquor Into Me, Julian”
Season 4, Episode 1, “Never Cry Shitwolf”
There’s nothing like a few drinks to celebrate your best friend getting out of prison. That’s exactly what Bubbles did when Julian of Trailer Park Boys became a free man again in “Never Cry Shitwolf,” an episode that brings out one of the funniest Bubbles quotes. He was knocking back the drinks out of a coffee pot. Throughout the episode, Bubbles gets more and more intoxicated and even tried yelling into a cop’s walkie-talkie. He ended up getting thrown in the drunk-tank when everything was said and done.
6 “Here’s What I Know, Rick. If You Love Something, Let It Go. If It Comes Back To You, You Own It. If It Doesn’t, You Don’t Own It. And If It Doesn’t You’re An A**hole, Just Like You.”
Season 1, Episode 2, “F**k Community College, Let’s Get Drunk and Eat Chicken Fingers”
When it comes to Bubbles, there are few things he loves more than his kitties. So, when he lends one to Ricky to keep him company while he’s sleeping in Julian’s car, he thinks he’s being nice. Unfortunately, Ricky believes the cat is his now, and when Bubbles comes to take him back, fireworks fly, leading to, oddly, one of the wisest Bubbles quotes. Eventually, Julian intervenes, and that’s when this sage wisdom is dropped in “F**k Community College, Let’s Get Drunk and Eat Chicken Fingers.” This is pretty relatable, as audiences have all had to let go of something at one point in the hopes it will come back.
5 “Lahey, Can You Please Get The Flying F*** Out Of Our Way? We Gotta Go Get Rush Tickets!”
Season 3, Episode 5, “Closer To The Heart”
When Rush comes to town, the residents of Sunnyvale are eager to see them, and that’s exactly what Bubbles did in “Closer To The Heart.” Unfortunately, Jim Lahey (John Dunsworth) got in the way of that, leading to one of the funniest Bubbles quotes. It’s wholly understandable that Bubbles wants to go see one of the best bands of all time, but it’s Mike Smith’s delivery that makes this line so hysterical. The whole episode goes a little sideways when they couldn’t get in, and Ricky kidnaps Alex Lifeson, the band’s guitarist, but the thrill of hunting for a ticket must have been fun.
4 “I Can’t Wait To Start F****n’ Hammerin’ People!”
Season 4, Episode 4, “The Green B*stard”
Wrestling is a sport beloved by all, but Bubbles might be a superfan. He loves it so much, in fact, that he made his own persona in “The Green B*stard,” resulting in one of the most memorable Trailer Park Boys storylines and Bubbles quotes. As soon as he donned the tights, he wanted to get in the ring and start fighting, so, he set his sights on Cory (Cory Bowles) and Trevor (Michael Jackson). In the third act of the episode, Ricky and Bubbles team up against Randy and Jim, with Sanford refereeing. The whole ordeal results in cheating and too many people in the ring, getting everyone disqualified.
3 “When Somebody Like Alex Lifeson Gives You A F****n’ T-Shirt To Put On, You’re Puttin’ The F****n’ Thing On. I Don’t Care If You Don’t Wear Shirts.”
Season 3, Episode 5, “Closer To The Heart”
It’s known that Randy (Patrick Roach), one of the many trailer park assistant supervisors on Trailer Park Boys, doesn’t like wearing shirts, so when Alex Lifeson, one of the best guitarists of all time, gives the group some t-shirts after being kidnapped by Ricky, Bubbles makes sure everyone wears them in “Closer To The Heart,” resulting in one of the funniest Bubbles quotes. At this point in time, the glasses-wearing shed-resident was fed up with Randy and Lahey after the duo bamboozled the group out of tickets to see Rush live. Everything worked out, the gang saw the band play, and now they have t-shirts to commemorate the day.
2 “Man, I Hope It’s Not A F******* Samsquanch, I Hate Those F****** B*******.”
Season 4, Episode 3, “Rub ‘N Tiz’zug”
In “Rub ‘N Tiz’zug,” Bubbles finds himself alone with his cats and watching a “samsquanch” documentary and gets scared when he hears a rustling outside, leading to one of the funniest Bubbles quotes. His door starts to creep open, and it looks like one of those hairy guys is trying to break in, so he calls up Ricky, who happens to be watching the same show, and they beat the monster with baseball bats. He fights back a bit, but eventually, he’s outnumbered. Unfortunately, it turns out the samsquanch was just Julian, covered in blankets.
1 “I Can Eat A F****n’ Bucket Myself.”
The Tragically Hip: The Darkest One (Music Video 2002)
There’s nothing more Canadian than the trailer park boys haggling with one of the best Trailer Park Boys celebrity cameo guests Gord Downy of the legendary Canadian rock group The Tragically Hip, about chicken, but that’s exactly what happened in the music video for “The Darkest One,” which includes one of the funniest Bubbles quotes.
Here, audiences see Trailer Park Boys‘ Bubbles wake Ricky up, saying Gord Downy will give them a bucket of chicken to steal a motor. That’s when they realize a bucket isn’t enough, and they begin to ask for more. They end up settling on two buckets and a drive to the liquor store and call it a day, but we can’t help but relate to that specific quote, especially after some drinking.